Brain Thuds

Around 11:30 Monday morning I was sitting at Walt's desk printing out some information for the nurse who works at my son's school, when I got a strange sensation in my head. Although it wasn't painful, it felt very much like I'd been hit hard between my skull and the upper right quadrant of my brain. I could have sworn my entire cerebrum moved forward suddenly, slamming against the inside of it's protective bony cage with a THUD! The room subsequently went black, convincing me that I was surely passing out.

...or maybe even dying!

I thought of grabbing a post it note from the desktop as my limp body sank to the floor, in hopes that I might scrawl a quick "good-bye" letter to my family, informing them of the events immediately preceding my untimely death.

Obviously, it was a false alarm. I didn't die, or even pass out for that matter, but being a little shaken by the experience, I decided to call my husband and tell him what had happened.

Walt was less than impressed. We discussed the fact that I had also awakened during the middle of the previous night to find the bedroom swirling around me. At that time, I elbowed my sleeping husband and asked "Is it just me or is the entire room listing violently to the right?" He rallied enough to indicate that his side of the room was holding steady in it's proper position, then patted me reassuringly on the leg and went back to sleep.

I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for all this, the most likely being that my hemoglobin has dropped again. I have episodes of dizziness when that happens, as well as fatigue which I've also been experiencing in recent days.

I've learned to live with the dizziness and fatigue, and probably wouldn't have given it another thought had it not been for the whole brain thud experience on Monday. I'm pretty sure it was nothing, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly concerned.

You know me. I watch lots of medical shows and find "Dr. G, Medical Examiner" particularly intriguing. Unfortunately, every day she examines the bodies of people who have succumbed to things a lot less weird than mere "brain thuds". During each episode I watch her work diligently as she searches for clues in her subject's bodies in attempt to uncover their various causes of death. Without any background information, poor Dr. G. has to start from the beginning with a "Y" incision to the chest and meticulously study every organ individually.

Anyway, it's a painstaking procedure leading up to the last body part that Dr. G checks for abnormalities, which is the brain of the deceased.

I figured if I were to die of a "brain thud", Walt could at least call Dr. G and tell her how I had been feeling just before I collapsed. That would save her a great deal of time and trouble in determining the reason for my demise. She could skip the whole "Y" incision deal and go straight to the skull.

(I can't help myself. Apparently I'll be a "thoughtful" person to the very end.)

Walt laughed at me and said he thought I was being affected by stress. Stress, after all, does strange things to a person especially when internalized which is exactly what I tend to do with it. His lack of concern did not provide much consolation. I could only imagine how remorseful he might feel if he were to come home and find me sprawled in the floor of his office with an unfinished "good-bye" note crumpled tightly in my fist.

Given the circumstances, perhaps the note should simply read "I told you so."

Or maybe not. Apparently "brain thuds" are not all that serious after all, and probably not even a true medical condition, seeing as how I am still among the living. My husband was probably right. I'm just stressed, and perhaps a little anemic.

No need to call Dr. G just yet. Brain thuds or no brain thuds, I plan to be around for several more years of "Dr. G, Medical Examiner" reruns.

But the first time I hear her say anything to the effect of "The official cause of death for this individual appears to have been a rare condition we refer to as "brain thud"." you can bet I'll be picking up the phone!