There's A New Kid In Town

Welcome to the world Baby James Daniel Jackson!

My newest grandson arrived Friday, August 20, 2010 at 3:11 p.m. He weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs. 10 oz!

Here are some pictures of the "little" guy:




I've been with my daughters when each of the other grandchildren were born, but I missed Baby James' birth. Common sense mandates that I wait and go to Ohio after Angel gets out of the hospital when I can truly be of assistance to her. I found myself regretting allowing "common sense" to rule though, when Angel developed complications and had to be given general anesthetic for a C-section.

I paced the driveway, phone in hand, waiting for updates from my niece who was there at the hospital in Ohio.

I shouted angrily when I heard how immature everyone was acting in the waiting room 500 miles away. (It happens every time)

I cried when I thought about how scared my daughter must have been when they told her they were going to need to put her under for the C-section.

Then I forgot about it all and smiled when the first photo of my new grandson finally arrived on my telephone screen.



He's perfect!

And I am in love ... again.

"Mamaw" Becky Taylor
August 22,2010

Isn't it Ironic?

My 50th birthday has come and gone.

"50th birthday?"

Funny you should ask, because if it hadn't been my own birthday I probably wouldn't have noticed either. You'd think after all the blatant hinting I've done (ie: my "Pushing Fifty" blog that's been running for the last two years) someone might have planned something to acknowledge the milestone.

But no.

I'd already made the necessary adjustments, knowing there'd be no family trip to Mexico. I'd made peace with the unfortunate timing of our lack of finances. I knew that neither David Tutera or Wendy Williams would be coming to my rescue. I was, however, naive enough to think there'd still be some kind of fun surprise awaiting me on Friday, August 13th.

There was indeed one very big surprise, that being the fact there was NO birthday celebration planned at all, much less a "50th" birthday celebration.

My husband (bless his heart) decided at the last minute to invite another couple to go to dinner with us but they weren't available. Late Friday afternoon he informed me that his "plans" had fallen through. Our friends couldn't go out with us after all, so he wanted to know if I'd like him to call another couple and invite them to meet us somewhere for dinner instead.

I was so stunned, I wondered if he were tricking me somehow. I know him too well though. He's not that good at pulling off such stunts.

I'm not ashamed to admit I freaked out when the reality set in.

Not only was I not having a fabulous 50th birthday bash, we weren't doing anything at all. NOT A THING!

I told him to forget dinner altogether, I wasn't hungry. He didn't understand why we couldn't go out to eat anyway "just because no one was available" to go with us.

Either I am a very poor communicator or he is a very poor listener because I thought I'd made myself very clear. It's almost embarrassing to talk about the anticlimactic ending to the day I'd been raving about for months.

In fairness, all was not lost as far as the basic "birthday" goes. I got several great phone calls that day from my family and a couple friends. My facebook page was over-run with birthday wishes. Walt also bought me a new "Flip" camera which I'd asked for. He gave it to me a day ahead of time. Silly me! I thought he was giving it to me early so I'd have it to take pictures at my party. You know ... the party that never happened!

No big dinner with all our friends. None of those hideous black balloons or "over the hill" jokes. No funny cards jaunting me about my age, and there are definitely no pictures to record the non-event.

It was just another birthday...only with less pomp and circumstance than I've been treated with on my other birthdays.

In retrospect, my life has become quite ironic in that way. The winds of fate have shifted and suddenly nothing goes as I expect anymore.

Whatever. It is what it is. Life goes on. (Insert any other appropriate cliche' here)

Happy Belated 50th Birthday to me!

Hiatus

There's very little in my life I have control over at the moment, so I've decided to exert my energy only on those things I do have some say in.

As of sometime during the middle of another sleepless night last night (largely due to the fact I couldn't control my dog's barking ... again) I made a decision to step down from everything for a while.

I sent a notice to my "free" coaching group advising them of my hiatus. For a yet to be determined period of time I am going to focus on getting myself to a better place emotionally, tending to my family, and possibly writing (but only if I really feel inspired to do so.)

I guess you might say I'm taking a "Mental Health break" from the "job". You know, those days you call in sick when you're not physically ill at all? Only in this case I am the boss so I don't have to feel guilty.

So, my first birthday gift to myself is time off. Although, I must say "time off" is a very relative term in this case. August will be a busy month, but mostly busy in a GOOD way.

My newest grandchild is set to arrive any day now. I've been needing to price some things and hold a yard sale so I can make money to publish my book. For that matter, I need to get my book finished so it can be published. I need to re-connect with my purpose, just as I coach my clients to do.

In a nutshell (what an appropriate phrase for my current state!) I need to do whatever it takes to carry some measure of sanity into my fifties.

That said, I am off to "find myself." Please leave the porch light on for me. I may be out pretty late.

Becky Taylor
August 2, 2010

Book It, Dan-O!

I don't usually talk about the book I'm attempting to write here on this "fun" blog, however, the lines between "fun" and "serious" have been very blurred lately. Even my newly purchased reading glasses have failed to remedy the situation. Hopefully that is only temporary and things will clear up soon. (Everything in life is temporary, right?)

I started writing a book a few months back. From what I've heard, books take a while to write so a "few months" isn't really all that long. The problem is, I haven't written a single word in weeks. My inspiration disappeared somewhere in the haze of issues the summer of 2010 has presented.

The central theme of my life right now is I NEED TO GET AWAY!

Being as ADD as I am, I can't hold on to a thought much less string several thoughts together long enough to finish a book (shoot! Make that a chapter) when I'm constantly being interrupted by the barking dog, the ding-ing washing machine, and legal notices from an annoying ex who, for reasons I may never understand, took it upon himself to put the last nail in my Summer 2010 coffin.

I need to go somewhere quiet and inspirational. Somewhere I can go to bed when I want, sleep as long as I want, and write as long as the thoughts keep flowing. Someplace the phone doesn't ring and no teenagers need a ride to the mall immediately!

I also need to go someplace fun and exciting ... or at least where I have the "fun and exciting" option available to me. I need an ocean breeze and the sound of the waves crashing on the shoreline. I need to go horseback riding,zip-lining, and yachting ... and spend hours on end just staring at the ocean if that's what I want!I need someone to cook my meals and make my bed for me while I'm busy doing all of the above.

I also need these two scenarios NOT to take place at the same time.

Ideally, I would throw my things in a bag and leave TOMORROW, then spend the next couple weeks working on my book, the deadline being my fiftieth birthday (which is FRIDAY AUGUST 13th in case I've not mentioned it lately)

In a perfect world, I'd put the finishing touches on my masterpiece on Thursday, August 12th, then smile as I close the computer and sit back and celebrate by watching the sun go down over Banderas bay.

Ahh! Lovely thought, isn't it?

On Friday August 13th, I'd wake up with the sunrise (or by noon - whatever!) and flip the "I finished my book AND turned fifty" party switch! The festivities would begin ... and not stop until I say so (because it's MY PARTY!)

And when I do decide the party's over, I'll move on to the next phase of my life. The "latter" years, which I am determined to make better than the first fifty.

It's a pretty tall order. You don't have to tell me, I already know.

Given my current frame of mind, I might just DO IT! Book the darn retreat and get on the plane. Miss the pesky court date (without bothering to tell anyone ... so they'll show up anyway *snicker*) and go away for a while.

Don't worry, I'll come back with my newly finished book ready to go to the publisher and a whole new attitude and outlook on life.

And that's something we would all benefit from right now, isn't it?



Becky Taylor
August 1, 2010

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.beckyjtaylor.webs.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Great! They've Killed the Elves too!

This blog isn't turning out quite like I'd pictured. As a matter of fact, the end product doesn't resemble my vision in the least.

When I wrote the last post, I reported the recent burning of my very important bridge to my "happy place". I also mentioned that I was clinging to the slightest possibility of little elves sneaking in and reconstructing it for me as a birthday surprise.

Yesterday I discovered the elves had been assassinated as well! I found their pitiful little carcasses scattered all over the place ... innocent victims of a malicious ex (or more likely his current wife.) Ugh!

No, make that double Ugh!

When is this going to end?

Why does it suddenly seem that life is out to get me?

Honestly, I started this blog with every intention of having fun with it ... lots of fun! Never did I intend it to turn into a whiny melodrama!

I'm a nice person. I always try to do what is right. I firmly (or at least use to) believe that one reaps what one sows.

Sow sweetness, reap cotton candy!

Sow nastiness, reap raw sewage!

Obviously the lines have been criss-crossed somewhere along the way because this definitely isn't cotton candy I'm standing in up to my armpits right now.

In summery: The ex (and his wife) have decided to appeal the court's decision to increase child support for the boy. This, despite the fact I am sitting on thousands of dollars of unpaid medical bills which the ex (and his wife) have refused to help pay.

This, despite the fact my income has steadily declined to almost nothing over the last several years, thanks to the economy.

This, despite the fact I've not asked for, or received a single increase for eight years. Meanwhile, they tried to get it decreased three years ago.

This despite the fact the ex has had a steady, well paying job the whole time. (For whatever reason,the lousy economy chose to spare him any grief.)

Oh, also despite the fact he's not spent one red cent on our son above what the court has insisted he pay.

I could go on, but I'll just move right to the real clincher.

Ready?

The hearing is scheduled for AUGUST 12th in OHIO!

Yup!

By some twist of fate, my two year long dream of spending the week of my birthday with my husband, kids, and grand-kids on a beach in Mexico has gradually been reduced to "celebrating" by sitting in a stuffy office in Ohio across the table from the ex (and God help me, probably his wife) trying to prove I'm not hiding a ton of money some place just to spite them.

I know that's why they appealed the court's decision to increase my son's support by a whopping $175.00/mo plus make him pay half of the boy's medical bills because I talked to the CSEA case worker today and she told me so!

Trust me. If I had a ton of money, hidden or otherwise, I wouldn't think of bothering the ex for help of any kind (even though he owes it to our son)

If I had a ton of money (or even just a little to spare) I'd be on that beach in Mexico sipping on a cold, fruity drink right now, any thoughts of the ex (or his wife) the absolute farthest thing from my mind!

Here I am instead. No Mexico. No Beach. No Big 50th Birthday Bash. No Money.

Just lots of aggravation and questions I'd like to have answered.

On second thought, forget about at least one of those questions. I'm afraid to ask "What next?" at this point. Given my current run of bad luck, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the answer.

Poor me ... even worse, poor little elves!

Becky Taylor
July 30, 2010

Somebody Burned My Bridge!

I have a secret.

I've battled depression most of my life. When I say "battled" I mean I've fought tooth and nail on a daily basis to cling to a certain degree of joy.

Of course I've been more successful in some seasons than in others.

In the process of maintaining happiness, I've developed different coping skills. One of my favorites is something I refer to as "building bridges." Whenever I feel overwhelmed or know there's something unpleasant on the horizon, I mentally build a bridge which leads to the next foreseeable "positive" event. I focus on that instead of the sadness or fear that's currently threatening me and move toward it instead of wallowing in the present.

This approach is different than "denial" (although sometimes denial can be a wonderful thing)as I do address and deal with the negative situations in my life. I just focus ahead on better things to come and that helps me get through.

For the last couple years I've been gearing myself up for my fiftieth birthday. I started planning my big, no ... make that HUGE celebration, almost as soon as I realized there would be no stopping the big 5-0.

I'm just being honest. It isn't so much that I'm thrilled about being fifty and want the world to stop and acknowledge my big day by throwing me a party. It's more because I'm dreading joining the ranks of the women who've left their forties (and their "prime" according to popular belief) behind.

So in my attempt to cope, I decided to build one of my trusty bridges over my birthday. I figured a big party would do the trick. Something I could truly enjoy that would provide a distraction from the fact I'm turning fifty.

I suppose that rather than saying I've been "planning" my birthday party, I should say I started making my wishes known to those people who would be in charge of making the arrangements. Who, after all, wants to plan their own birthday celebration?

I've had a pretty good run, if I do say so myself. Looking forward to my birthday party ... what I thought would surely be the biggest celebration of my lifetime, has gotten me through for almost two years now. I've envisioned myself opening the Wendy Williams show in NYC, then jetting off to Puerto Vallarta to sit on the sand, basking in the sunshine over Banderas Bay for a week. After that, I'd fly home hopefully in time to welcome my sixth grandchild into the world.

Given the possibility that all goes well, before I know it we'll be well into September and my birthday will be long passed. I'll have nothing but beautiful memories of the exciting events of the summer of 2010.

Oh, and I'll be fifty years old.

I've got to say, this is one of the best "bridges" I've ever constructed!

So you might imagine my dismay now that I've come to realize someone has gone and burned my bridge!

What a dastardly deed!

With less than three weeks to go, it's too late to start re-building now. Part of me wants to believe there may still be the celebration I've been dreaming of. Elves perhaps, may step in and re-build my bridge while I'm sleeping.

In my world there's always room for miracles.

But realistically, I understand that's probably just not going to be the case. The bridge is gone, blasted away by lack of finances and other annoyances commonly associated with the real world.

What a downer! What lousy timing!

As always is the case, I will adjust and move on toward some glimmer of light in the distance. Worse things than turning fifty could happen to a girl. I could not be having another birthday at all.

Yes, it could be worse. I apologize for all the whining.

It's just that I worked so hard on this particular bridge. It hurts to see it lying in rubble.

Becky Taylor
July 27, 2010

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.beckyjtaylor.webs.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Thirty One? Are You Kidding Me?

According to some dim-witted report I heard on a news shows this morning, a woman is at her "most beautiful" at age thirty-one.

What the ....?

Is it just me, or is that not one of the craziest things you've ever heard?

Unless you happen to be a thirty-one year old woman, and even then you might find this report a bit disturbing ... depending on whether or not you're pleased with your appearance at this particular age. If you're not, well you might be thinking "Oh great! So this is as good as it gets! Pass the double chocolate chip ice cream please, I'm doomed!"

Then there are the rest of us who passed that so-called age of "perfection" without even realizing it.

I'm sorry, but I didn't need this kind of depressing information less than four weeks before my fiftieth birthday, (and nearly nineteen years after my thirty-first!)

What ever happened to "Fifty is the new thirty"? Even then, they were referring to a state of youth and not necessarily "beauty". (Didn't someone actually say that recently, or is that something I made up myself? We old, out of shape, way past our prime women tend to be delusional, after all.)

Seriously though. Where did the people who came up with that answer to the question, "At what age is a woman the most beautiful?" get their information, and why did it merit fifteen seconds of fame on the morning news?

For that matter, why did anyone feel the need to pin "most beautiful" to any particular age in the first place?

I protest and I believe all other non-thirty-one year old women should do the same. "Beauty" cannot be assigned an age at which it peaks. Shame on whomever it was who decided differently.

I'm fairly certain we haven't heard the last of this one, folks. Just wait until the "Dove Campaign for Real Beauty" people get their hands on this information! Surely they'll set some people straight on the matter.

In the mean time, here's to the truly beautiful people, no matter how old (or young) you may be.

Becky J. Taylor
July 19, 2010

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

A-Weigh We Go!

I realize I am beginning to sound very "fifty-ish" in my recent blog posts. I can't help it! My concerns during recent months have been mostly about finances, sleepless nights and weight gain!

I'm happy to report some progress in regard to my weight! I found a website that has so un-complicated things, I can't believe how easily I've begun to lose weight. I started the diet (although I can't even honestly call it a diet)less than a week ago and my shorts are already beginning to feel loose.

The website is http://www.caloriecount.about.com

It's approach is exactly as the name implies. I joined for FREE, then set up my profile with information like how much weight I want to lose (20 lbs) and when I want it all to be gone.

Each day I keep a log of what I've had to eat and enter it onto the site. Voila'! It calculates how many calories, and other nutritional information my food intake contains. Also, based on my answers to some questions it prompted me to answer, it tells me how many calories I am taking in versus how many calories I am burning each day.

But wait! There's more!

There's also a place to log activities, not just exercise but every day household activities like putting away laundry and even bathing, and calculates how many calories I've burned.

After all this time I've been fretting over trying to drop a few pounds, attempting to exercise, cut back on sweets, etc. Who would've thought success could be so simple as watching my calories every day.

Did I mention I've not been hungry even once since I started? Well, I haven't! That's the beauty of it. Because I'm conscious of my calorie intake, I keep track of it all day long and pace myself accordingly. So far I am averaging less than 1400 calories a day. YAY!

Oh yeah! I'm pumped! I may be back in one of those cute little bathing suits by my birthday after all.

I guess I should also mention that the site did burst my bubble a little by telling me I couldn't possibly lose 20lbs by August 13th. It suggested that mid September might be a more realistic goal. Oh well. We'll see how that goes. Even if I've only lost 10 lbs by my birthday I'll be ecstatic.

So here I go! Success at last. I'm losing weight the old fashioned way and I like it!

Becky J. Taylor
July 16, 2010

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

Where's David Tutera When You Need Him?

Mr. Taylor seems to be having some difficulty coming up with a good plan for my birthday. Apparently he got the memo that this particular birthday is very important to me and has been scrambling accordingly.

I'm a little nervous.

A couple years ago, I told him exactly what I wanted to do to usher in the big 5-Oh! I wanted a beach in Mexico with my kids and grandkids for a week (or more if possible), highlighted with a major party to celebrate the impending BEST years of my life!

Well, life happens while you're making other plans, right?

Little did I know that my daughter, Angel would be in her last week or so of pregnancy when the date arrives. So much for having my kids and grandkids in Mexico with me at that time.

It also throws a wrench in my plans because I'm not all too sure I want to be out of the country when my sixth grandchild arrives. I've been by both my daughter's sides when they delivered the first five grand babies and well, I'm just not convinced they could do it without me.

Throw in the fact that our finances have drastically changed since I first voiced my preference for my 50th birthday party and honey, we have ourselves a situation.

I don't know what to do, but I do know I'm going to be terribly disappointed if Friday August 13th arrives and passes without something major being done to recognize the date.

I'm not usually a very selfish kind of person, but this is different. This calls for serious intervention from an expert.

Where's David Tutera when you need him?

David Tutera is a famous party-planner and has a hit t.v. show, "My Fair Wedding". Every week on t.v., I admire him as he appears to brides in distress and re-plans their weddings a mere three weeks from the big day. I love how he makes dreams come true for all those "Queen for a day" wannabees... like me, only I'm not getting married. I'm just turning 50!

If I could design the perfect birthday celebration (without regard to questionable finances and the potential arrival of a new grand-child)it would begin with me opening the Friday the 13th "Wendy Williams" show in NYC. Friday's episodes are taped on Thursday afternoon so I could easily open her show, then fly to Mexico in time for my actual birthday.

My not currently pregnant daughter, Emily and her family would fly with me and Mr. Taylor, both to the Wendy Williams taping and on to Mexico.

Once in Mexico, we'd check into an exclusive resort. I found a great one for about $600 USD/day. If memory serves me correctly, that price includes room/food/daily massages, etc. for at least eight people so that's only about $75 USD/day.

There, we would enjoy at least a week of endless sunshine, zip-lining, dinner at "Rhythms of the Night", horsback riding, food and whatever other festivities strike my fifty year old fancy.

Does that sound like a fantastic plan or what?

This all started yesterday when I caught myself feeling a little down about the possibility of not celebrating my 50th birthday in great style. I'd been trying to convince myself that party, or no party, it really didn't matter all that much to me.

It does matter! Such a celebration only comes around once in a lifetime. It needs to be perfect.

*sigh*

I wish David Tutera had a show called, "My Fabulous Big Five-Oh!" I'd be calling him to my rescue right now.

Oh David! HELP! I need help making my birthday party dreams come true!



Becky Taylor
July 11, 2010

http://www.boldnewday.com

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

Tunic Tops and Tummy Troubles

I had my yearly checkup at the GYN yesterday.

Yes ladies, I can sense your sympathies oozing through cyberspace!

The good news is, I came home with a clean bill of health (gynecologically speaking.)

The bad news is, the doctor informed me there is no "magic pill" available to reverse these mid-life weight gaining issues.

I told him I'd packed on about fifteen pounds since last summer and he nodded,then confirmed that fifteen pounds was about what would be expected. He said the average reported weight gain for my "age" is around one-two lbs per month!

And there's very little I can do about it.

Grrrr!

OK, so there is actually something I can do. I can eat less AND increase my exercise.

Excuse me? I don't eat much as it is. Typically, I lose weight in the summer because I often "forget" to eat and I am generally more active.

Yet, this summer has been the exception to the rule. I've done all the above, in addition to placing more emphasis on diet and I continue to gain.

I asked the doc if the "gaining one-two pounds a month" would go on for the rest of my life, and he assured me it should "plateau" at some point. So, depending on when/if it plateaus, I could weigh fifteen more pounds by next summer!

I just don't want to think about it. This was suppose to be my summer of liberation...the year I turn fifty, not the year I gain fifty!

Mother Nature is a cruel prankster for sure. Just about the time I was getting comfortable in my own skin and not worrying about my figure being less than super-model perfect, she throws me this curve ball. I am now filling out the aforementioned skin, stretching it to it's limits like never before.

Who knew midlife would be such a challenge?

Who ever suspected it would strike such a blow to my ego?

Certainly not this die-hard optimist!

I suppose I'll adjust ... eventually. I realize a little weight gain is nothing compared to the more serious issues I could be facing right now. I am healthy and for that I am very thankful!

My celebration of Summer 2010 shall continue despite the ever increasing size of my mid-section. Thank goodness empire waistlines and tunic tops are in this year! Happy 50th Birthday to me!

Becky Taylor
June 25, 2010
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.boldnewday.com
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

All The Wrinkled Ladies

In keeping with the "theme" of recent posts, here's a video by Christian Comedian, Anita Renfro. "All the Wrinkled Ladies"

Enjoy!

Grandma Buys A Bathing Suit .. (The Sequel)

After buying the new bathing suit with more "coverage" a few weeks ago and discovering I felt pretty much miserable (and old) in it, I bit the bullet and went bathing suit shopping again last Thursday.

I was feeling a bit brave when I dug out my old favorite two piece and tried it on last week. You know what? It really doesn't look that bad. I officially brought it out of retirement and started wearing it to the pool.

Feeling secure in my old two piece once again, I returned to the store on Friday and bought not one, but three new two piece suits. The first one, a bit more revealing than my old favorite, and the other two a lot more revealing than any I've worn in recent history.

Do I look like a nineteen year old in any of the suits? Of course not!

Do I really care? Nope!

I don't go to the pool to compete with anyone, neither am I trying to attract the attention of any members of the opposite sex. I don't crave positive re-enforcement or wolf whistles (except from my husband, of course) I just want to be comfortable and cool. It's that simple.

I feel good about my decision. Better yet, I feel downright liberated!

I will wear my new bathing suits with my head held high. Anyone who doesn't like it ... feel free to look the other way!


Becky J. Taylor
June 21, 2010

http://www.boldnewday.com

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

The Procrastinator

I don't know why, but I've put off mailing in my papers requesting an increase in funds from the ex,to the


Child Support Enforcement Agency.

I filled them out almost a month ago, and noticed at that time the return envelope they provided seemed way to small for the stack of papers I'd been asked to complete and return. I also wanted to write a short note to the case worker explaining a couple items on the forms.

For those two very small reasons, I put the papers back on my "to do" list and didn't get them back out until this morning.

In my own self defense, I should add that the hearing concerning my case won't be held until June 28, which is also the date the papers are due in. I found that a little odd. It took the Child Support Enforcement Agency four weeks to get the papers to me after I first requested them. After that, they gave me (and the ex) six weeks to fill them out and send them back in.

Once they finish reviewing the information and determine if there will be a change in support, it will be another four weeks before the changes take effect.

I did the math .. By the time this is over, I will have waited fourteen weeks for the increase I requested (if they decide I qualify) yet from what I can tell, they will have spent about 20 minutes total plugging in my numbers vs. the ex's numbers to come up with a decision.

Whew!

No wonder I put it off. It probably took me almost that long just to cram all those papers into the envelope!

I'm trusting all my efforts will pay off and I'll be rewarded with some financial help from Adam's father. I have a stack of medical bills from the kid's hospitalization and numerous E.R. visits last year, none of which I've had any assistance with from the ex.

I can only hope ... and pray I manage to walk these papers out to the mailbox sometime within the next week!

Becky Taylor
6-16-2010
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.boldnewday.com
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

Grandma Buys a Bathing Suit

I've outgrown my old bathing suits.

Since we've lived near the lake I've acquired several. My most recent favorite has been a cute little two piece (no, I'm not talking "bikini") that shows not too much and not too little. I've worn it when Walt and I were out on the lake alone, or when we've been on vacation.

I have another suit I like a lot as well. It's also a two piece, but the bottom is made like a pair of shorts with a little skirt over it. It isn't made out of that awful stretchy material a lot of skirted bottoms have. It's more like the regular stuff you'd expect shorts to be made of.

The top covers all the way down to the waistband of the shorts, so this suit provides more coverage than the first one. I wore it when I was planning to be more active, like when the grand kids were with us, or I thought I might be riding on the tube behind the boat. It's the one I wore when we went white water rafting too, so obviously I've felt fairly secure in it.

The rest of my swimsuits are pretty much mix and match. I bought one that has the regular "granny" style skirt on it. I don't care much for that one and have used it mostly only as a spare.

I own another two piece suit but I've only worn the top with the bottoms of the second suit I mentioned. It wasn't ideal, but it worked.

I tried my favorite suit on late last summer and realized it wasn't fitting quite like it use to. I knew I'd picked up a few pounds, but didn't think it was enough to make a difference in the way my clothes looked on me.

I was wrong. The cute little two piece "vacation" suit went back in the drawer and I pulled out suit number two. It still fit (pretty much). Thank God!

Earlier this spring, I tried my second favorite suit on again and noticed the bottoms were difficult to zip. I managed to get into it, but I didn't feel nearly as comfortable as I'd felt in the past. That's when I had to admit I was going to have to buy a new suit.

I suppose all women come to a similar moment of realization somewhere around the age of fifty. Even when we can get into the same size clothing as before, it fits differently. Suddenly all our flesh (and flab) moves to a new location on our bodies and apparently there isn't a darn thing we can do about it!

Except buy a new bathing suit.

I looked at bathing suits online last night just to get a feel for what was out there. I searched for suits that would slim the areas that need slimming and enhance the areas I'd like to enhance. It turns out they do make those suits, but not in my price range!

I had to compromise.

I settled on one I found on a nationwide department store website and went in search of it at the local store this morning. It's very similar to my second favorite suit, except the bottoms have regular bathing suit pants under the skirt instead of shorts.

And it covers a lot more.

Oh, and it's made out of that horrible stretchy material I associate with the "granny" skirts. Grr!

The one I bought wasn't the only one I tried on while I was there. I tried to find one I thought I'd like better.

That didn't happen. I noticed that every one I tried on seemed to cover more and more of my body. I came to the very sad realization that unless things turn around for me real soon, I'll be looking for a suit fashioned after those worn by women in the 1800's. (Remember the ones with the sleeves and knee length bloomers?)

I settled on the suit I'd found online. Obviously I'm not exactly in love with it but it will have to do for now.

It's a very "safe" suit. I won't have to worry about playing with the grand kids, riding the tube behind the boat, or white water rafting in it.

For that matter I probably won't feel out of place if I need to wear it while grocery shopping or going to a doctor's appointment. I've seen plenty of women out in public wearing a lot less and thought nothing of it!

Well, maybe not fifty year old women, but you know what I mean.

I suppose you might say I am at an awkward stage of life. It's the stage between trying to camouflage the tricks Mother Nature is playing with my body, and that where I truly just don't care what other people think anymore.

In the meantime it's just what I said ... awkward. In some ways I don't want to move on to the "I truly don't care" stage, while in others I wish I'd just hurry up and stop giving a darn!

Not giving a darn would make it much easier for me when I show up at the neighborhood pool in my 1800'style suit complete with sleeves and bloomers!

Until I make the transition, here's a picture of me taken in my previously favorite swim suit. Walt and I were on vacation year before last. I was waving to him from the beach in Bucerias, Mexico.

Or so I thought.

How was I to know I was actually waving good-bye to the days when I could wear a suit like that and get by with it?

Bye-bye cute little two piece suit. I hate to see you go ...



June 1, 2010
Becky J. Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.boldnewday.com

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

Stupid Questions and Fashion Statements

The more I think about my experience at the spinal specialist yesterday, the more aspects of it I find perplexing.

At this particular moment, I am feeling perplexed about my experience with the x-ray department.

Apparently those lovely gowns doctors offices use to provide are no longer humiliating enough for their patients. The girl who took me to the exam room handed me a pair of paper shorts instead, and explained that I was suppose to remove my jeans and put them on in preparation for my x-rays.

I guess the "shorts" could be better described as "bloomers" as they were very baggy and elasticized around the waist and legs. They were a lovely shade of "medical blue", a color which clashed terribly with the blouse I was wearing. They were also very loose around my waist. In retrospect, I suppose that is further proof that they add ten pounds to every patient's reported weight to make up for the fudge factor they assume is involved. (Again ... my bad!)

After the girl left, I obediently removed my jeans, slipped into the ugly shorts/bloomers, and sat down on the exam table to wait. The sight of my pasty legs dangling from the edge of the table was a brutal reminder of my desperate need of some sunshine, and only added to my embarrassment concerning the whole situation.

Soon, a young man (of course they would have to send a young man) came to escort me to the x-ray department which naturally involved walking down a very long corridor, me praying I wouldn't bump into anyone I knew while holding tightly onto the waistband of the bloomers in hopes of preventing them from dropping to my ankles en-route.

Noticing my attachment to the shorts, the young man jokingly informed me I could take them home with me if I wanted. (Uh... like that was going to happen.)

Finally, we rounded the corner and entered the x-ray room where I was greeted by the sweet young female x-ray technician. At that point I'd been at the office for about thirty minutes and had met at least five employees, all of whom were probably younger than my oldest child.

The sweet x-ray technician smiled, said hello, and then asked me if there was any possibility I could be pregnant.

Could I be what?

I had to laugh.

I also had to wonder at what age they stop asking women that question. I mean, really!

I know there are women in this world who have children very late in life, but they usually go to extreme measures to become pregnant. In fact,I've never personally heard of any women my age who got pregnant the "old fashioned way"

Taking that into consideration, I have to believe if a late forties or early fifty-ish woman did walk into the x-ray department pregnant, she would probably be so proud of her pregnancy, she'd be sporting a maternity top with the words "Yes, I AM!" plastered all over it.

So, I guess next time I go for an x-ray I'll wear a shirt that a) co-ordinates nicely with "medical blue" and b) has the words NO! I AM NOT! printed on the front of it.

Perhaps the x-ray technician was simply giving me the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she hadn't looked at the age listed on my chart and thought, based on my appearance, there was a remote possibility I might be young enough to be with child.

Or maybe it was because of those incredibly sexy shorts I was wearing. For all I know, they might actually have been a very good "look" for me.(The young man who escorted me down the hall did seem to think I might want to take them home, remember?) Could it be they actually made me appear much younger, vibrant ... and fertile?

Nah, I guess not. I'll just have to add "stupid questions" and "embarrassing fashion statements" to the ever growing list of medical mysteries I'll never understand.



5/28/10
Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Liar! Liar!

... well, my pants are definitely not on fire!

When I went to the Emergency Room last week, they did not weigh me. Instead, they asked me how much I weighed.

And I told them the truth.

It happened again this morning. I was asked the same question at my follow up appointment with the spinal specialist.

Just like last week in the E.R., I did not lie.

I should also mention that when I got my drivers license renewed I reported my actual weight to them too.

(Do we not pay these people enough money to buy their own scales, or what?)

I realize I've done myself a great injustice here, especially having learned from my medical background that people almost always fudge the numbers on these sorts of things. I've not done any intensive research, but my guess would be that most report their weight to be at least ten pounds less than it really is.

Now,thanks to my "zero tolerance" honesty policy, the people at the hospital, the spinal specialist, and the license bureau all probably assume I weigh ten pounds more than I actually do.

What was I thinking?

As far as the Emergency Room is concerned, I was practically delirious with pain there so that's a fair explanation for spewing out an accurate number. On the other hand, I have absolutely no excuse for being so truthful with the license bureau and the doctor's office.

My regular doctor either makes more money, or is wiser than the others. He has a scale of his own so he doesn't rely on his patients to tell him how much they weigh. (He probably figured out that most people are liars long ago.)

It makes me feel slightly better to remember that the last time I weighed this much (as indicated by my regular doctor's scales)I was immediately told that I definitely didn't look "that heavy".

(I'm fairly certain the medical assistant who made that comment meant it as a compliment.)

A few moments later, I mentioned my weight to my doctor (since he didn't bring it up) and he assured me I was "fine".

Maybe that's why I felt so secure in reporting my real weight to all those other people.

I'm fine. My weight is fine. (Someone should write a book with that title!)

Obviously I was not totally traumatized by the experience. After all that, I still had a chili cheese dog for dinner this evening.

But one thing's for certain, no matter if I gain even more weight before I see the scale-free medical people again, I'm giving them the same number I gave them last time.

And if I manage to lose a few pounds, I am going to tell them I weigh ten less pounds than the actual number really is. I owe it to myself for being so honest with them all these years!

Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Flavor

I was indulging in my daily "guilty pleasure" this morning, (which happens to be watching the Wendy Williams show). Tia and Tamara,the twins from the old sitcom "Sister Sister" were her guests.

During their interview, Wendy mentioned that Tia and Tamara are actually of mixed race, their mother being Bohemian. They said that's where they get their flavor.

I don't recall ever hearing the word "flavor" used in that sense, but I really do like the sound of it.

I also feel a bit slighted because I now realize I don't have "flavor". What a slap in the face that is to my already waning sense of self esteem.

I've always been pretty much a wall-flower. Sure, I clean up ok, but overall I'm just your average American female ... and now a middle-aged one at that!

My father's family came from Germany and my mother's family is from England (yawn). My maternal great-great grandmother was a Native American, but the two or three drops of Native American blood that possibly could have filtered down to me, isn't enough to give me any flavor.

I feel like plain vanilla ice cream on the Baskin-Robbins menu of life. Who in their right mind is going to give vanilla ice cream a second thought when there are options available such as mint chocolate chip, rocky road, and even cotton candy!

(Well, actually I usually order the plain vanilla but that just further proves my point.)

When God was passing out flavor, why didn't He give me some? Surely there's enough to go around.

There's nothing I can do about it now. For all I know, He might have offered me a dash of flavor before He sent me to earth, and I declined.

"No thanks, I'd rather just be boring."

He probably just caught me on an "off" day, or maybe I was distracted.

Whatever the case, I wish He'd ask me again because daggone it, now I wish I had some flavor!

Becky J. Taylor
May 20, 2010
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Time Out!

I swear, I had every intention of blogging on May 13th, which was the beginning of the three month countdown to my fiftieth birthday.

But I got busy and forgot to do it. Maybe that had something to do with me getting older. Who knows? Or for that matter, who cares? The truth is, I'm finding myself blaming a lot more on my age these last few months.

I started "Pushing Fifty" (both the blog and the emotional ordeal) a couple years ago. In the beginning,the blog was intended to be an entirely light-hearted account of my journey to the big Five-Oh!

I'm not one of those women who has ever worried about getting older. "I am what I am" has always been my motto.

"Love me or leave me"

"Age is just a number."

All the usual cliches have applied.

That was then, this is now! The closer I get to August 13, 2010, the more impact the fact the "number" of my next "age" is going to be FIFTY, is having on me.

This use to be much easier to ignore. Call me the Queen of Denial. My body, mind, and spirit made a pact that as long as "we" agreed I was not going to let my birthday have any adverse affects on me, the date would only serve as an excuse to throw caution to the wind, run off to Mexico and have a huge, week long celebration! Friday, August Thirteenth, 2010 aka my fiftieth birthday would be a day worthy of great acknowledgment. No more, no less.

Then, my body decided to rebel. It started packing on pounds, entirely of it's own accord. No permission granted (no permission asked, for that matter)

My face suddenly started catching up on all the wrinkles it had refused to take on in the past. WHAM! One night the wrinkle fairy crept into my room and slapped me with the wrinkle stick ... twice, at least!

It has apparently become the goal of my physical self to LOOK fifty by the time my birthday rolls around.

Never in the history of ME have I ever looked my age!

I would have killed to look my age back when I was a teenager. I felt that way well into my twenties. I didn't like being mistaken for a youngster then.

By the time I hit my thirties and forties, I began to enjoy looking younger than my age. I accepted that it was a blessing, not a curse, to be mistaken for a younger woman than I truly was.

And now? Well now I am really missing that about me.

I look in the mirror, or at recent photographs of myself and wonder "Who is that older woman?"

I am calling a "time out" on this whole pushing fifty thing. I need a break, a chance to regroup and come up with a new strategy. Mexico, or some exotic getaway, is definitely still in the plan, but the rest of this stuff ... not so much!

I need to catch my breath! (and lose twenty pounds)

I need a face lift! (like ... yesterday!)

I need lots of other things, including some heavy meds and possibly a private investigator to search for loopholes in my birth certificate.

I don't want to be fifty, but even more than that I don't want to look or feel my age!


May 18, 2010
Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Me, Myself, and Becky Taylor

Today started out in a rather unusual way.

Admittedly, the way life's been behaving lately, it's gotten difficult to distinguish between usual and unusual.

But this morning was "unusual" in a happily amusing sort of way. I got a text from my daughter Angel in Ohio almost as soon as I woke up. She said my four year old grandson, Jayden had called to her from the living room, saying "Mamaw Becky" was on t.v. Angel checked the screen and saw there was a Sylvan Learning Center ad airing which featured a woman whose name was displayed in the lower corner of the screen.

The name was "Becky Taylor"

How odd! Jayden thought his Mamaw Becky was on t.v. and the woman he'd mistaken to be me just happened to have the same name.

Of course, Jayden is only four years old and can't read yet. That would seem to eliminate the possibility he'd simply recognized the lady's name.

I thought about it and recalled seeing the same ad several months ago. I wouldn't have remembered it except for the fact that I'd noticed Becky Taylor and I shared the same name.

End of story, right?

After giving it more thought, I considered the possibility that the other Becky Taylor and I might also share similar coloring, etc, therefore making it possible that Jayden had the two of us confused as one and the same.

The name thing? Well, that part was surely a very funny coincidence!

If you've followed me very long at all, you'll know I can't let these things rest that easily. I had to investigate.

A quick "google" search revealed a photo of the other Becky, lending evidence to my theory that our similar hair and skin color had confused my grandson.

My attempts to find the Sylvan commercial online were not quite as successful. That came as a real disappointment because I really needed to figure out if the name "Becky Taylor" had been spoken at any time during the ad.

My curiosity was beginning to get the best of me, so I did what came most naturally.

I looked up the other Becky Taylor on facebook (yes, I found her there) and sent her a message explaining the situation to her.

Becky Taylor seemed to get as much of a kick out of the story as I, and verified for me that her name is not mentioned verbally in the ad at all. The only reference to "Becky Taylor" is the one printed on the screen.

Now, let's take a "logical" look at the facts, shall we?

What are the chances of there being more than one Becky Taylor in the United States?

"Becky" is a very common name, and so is "Taylor" ... so do the math. There are hundreds, if not thousands of us. Nothing remarkable to report on that aspect of the story.

The likelihood of any two of those Becky Taylors bearing similar physical traits?

Well, America is the proverbial "melting pot" of the world, so again, nah! No big surprise there either.

The possibility of a four year old boy living in southern Ohio, seeing someone on a t.v. commercial and mistaking her for his "Mamaw Becky" who lives in Georgia?

Still no big shock factor there. (YAWN)

BUT, a four year old boy in southern Ohio spotting a woman on t.v. whom he believes to be his "Mamaw Becky" and it turns out the woman on t.v. and his Mamaw Becky actually share the same name?

That's a bit more difficult to explain away.

Becky Taylor (of Sylvan Learning Centers fame) thinks Jayden recognized the name, and in conjunction with the other similarities, came to the conclusion that he was seeing his "Mamaw Becky" on television.

My daughter was hesitant to accept that possibility, until I reminded her that Jayden had likely seen my name written on the Mothers Day card she'd recently mailed to me. After a short period of convincing argument on my end, Angel finally agreed (or at least decided to humor me) to consider that possibility.

Long story short ...

It is a small world after all.

Reality is truly stranger than fiction.

My four year old grandson is most likely a genius (just like my other four grandchildren happen to be)

...and I have a new friend. Her name is Becky Taylor, just like me!

5/11/2010
Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Woe is Me ... Slobberin' In My Mothers Day Tea ,,,

My husband asked me yesterday what I would like for Mothers Day. I told him I only wanted my kids all together with me for the afternoon.

Then we laughed.

We laughed just like we laugh at some point around all the holidays when I say how much I'd like my kids (and grand kids, of course) together to celebrate with me.

We laugh at ourselves for thinking for one milli-second that it could actually ever happen.

It isn't like I have a dozen children. I only have three, two of which are grown with families of their own. One is still at home, and although I suppose he'll be here with me tomorrow in the technical sense of the word, his mind couldn't be farther from "Mothers Day".

He's fifteen, so I can't fault him all that much. He's thinking right now about computers, girls, and getting his license this summer. (In that order)

The boy did clean his room thoroughly yesterday. I could fantasize that he was doing that as a gift to me, but of course I know better. He wants to have a friend over this afternoon and was trying to increase the odds of me saying "yes".

I feel like some sort of oddity. I can't remember ever having all my kids together with me for Mothers Day, much less it being any kind of day to be celebrated.

My youngest daughter,Emily has spent Mothers Day weekend with me a few times. Those have been my favorites. A couple years back, we went to the Renaissance Fair together. That was a blast! The year after that she and her family spent the weekend with us and we had a "regular" Mothers Day weekend which included a picnic at the lake. It too, was loads of fun!

My second-born can't be here all the time but she has a way of making every day we are together "Mothers Day" for me. That definitely puts a permanent smile across my heart.

It isn't her fault she can't be here tomorrow. I totally understand.

I also have to take partial responsibility for making it difficult for my children to be together. I was the one who moved to Georgia, over five hundred miles away from "home". It isn't like they can "pop in" after church to take me to dinner.

No. It would take some effort. Far be it from me to expect that.

(Although I could mention that it never seemed to be any more likely to happen before I moved away)

As far as my own mother is concerned, I know I wasn't the "perfect" daughter when it came to Mothers Day either. I'm sure there's more I could have done to make her feel special that day in May. I was, however, at her house nearly every Sunday of my adult life before I moved.

I know I sound like I'm whining. I really don't mean to be. Part of my problem is that I am unusually bored with life in general right now. When I get bored I daydream about nonsensical stuff ... like taking off on a world cruise ... moving to a deserted island somewhere ... hitting the lottery (so I can afford the first two daydreams) ... or having all my kids together with me to celebrate Mothers Day.

I'll put my soapbox away now ... at least until August when my fiftieth birthday will be rolling around. For that, I've had a long-standing fantasy about all my children and their kids spending two weeks with me in Mexico, where I would watch my grand-children play on the beach, then spend the evening of my birthday ushering in the second century of my life in great style.

I've told them all in no uncertain terms what I've envisioned my big 5-0 birthday party to look like, Mexican beach and grand-babies included. Lets just say we know already that isn't going to be happening. I'm not being negative, but rather realistic, when I say that. It's a fact, there are extenuating circumstances in place that will definitely prevent it from coming to pass.

Oh well! Such is life. I will survive!

If you still have your Mother with you, it isn't too late to make her day tomorrow truly special. The greatest thing you can give her is not "presents" but your presence and your love. C'mon. It's ONE day out of the year. It isn't going to kill you! And, after she's gone, you won't kick yourself nearly as hard for never having taken the time and effort to appreciate her while she was alive.

Happy Mothers Day!

Now, I think I'm going to go rent myself some substitute grand children and head to the lake!

5/8/2010
Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women
http://www.beckyjtaylor.com
http://www.boldnewday.com

Mid-life Cry-sis

I've been really, really, really good about watching what I've been eating for a week now. That might not seem like such a big deal to you, but to me is is huge! HUGE like the size of my midsection these days. They don't call it the "middle age spread" for nothing, folks!

As I was saying, I decided a couple weeks ago that I would start eating better and trying to lose weight as soon as we got back from the family reunion and our trip to Savannah. I even cut my Diet Pepsi down to almost nothing because I heard the aspartame was bad for me.

Sure enough, I lost two pounds almost immediately.

Unfortunately, they were the same two pounds I'd picked up during our four days away, so I doubt it was "real" weight to begin with. Most likely it was only water.

Since then, I've stayed steady at about fifteen pounds over what I would weigh in a more perfect world. Ten pounds over the weight I'd almost kill for right now.

Meanwhile, I am hungry for the food I use to be able to eat without worrying about increasing my girth. I've never had horrible eating habits and I've never had to worry much about my weight.

Call me naive but I somehow thought the mid-life rules would not apply to me. I've always believed I'd welcome these years with outstretched arms. It's suppose to be liberating, right?

Excuse me while I double over in laughter at my own innocence.

It turns out that mid-life is a cruel prankster.

Too bad for me, I hate pranks ... and I'm hating mid-life so far.

Not only do I hate the extra weight that has firmly attached itself to my belly, I also hate the wrinkles on my face and neck. I hate the flab that waves in the breezes from the underside of my upper arms. I hate the sleepless nights.

I hate looking my age for the first time in my life!

If this is what being fifty is all about, I've changed my mind! I demand a re-count, or better yet a do-over! Back me up about three years and leave me there, happy and oblivious at 47. Is that too much to ask? It isn't like I am demanding to be twenty one all over again, I just want to be like I use to be a few short years ago.

So, stop the ride, I want to get off.

I don't want to be FIFTY!

I don't want to be old, tired, fat, moody and sweaty. Those things are just soooo NOT me. Give me my life back please.

Oh ... and you might want to give it back NOW, so nobody gets hurt!

Becky J. Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
Personal Development Coaching for Women

http://www.beckyjtaylor.com

Our Next Business Venture (A NEW Haunting in Savannah!)

While enjoying a short vacation in Savannah over the weekend, our daughter in law, Ryan and I had a stroke of genius regarding a possible new business we could not only start, but actually enjoy doing together.

It started with a walking "ghost tour" we (Walt, Ryan and Wesley and I) took together. I asked our tour guide how many evenings a week he works and he answered "three". Then he volunteered that during those three nights a week, he makes enough to pay his mortgage!

He also works as a Jr. High History teacher during the day. I wondered, but of course didn't ask, if maybe he makes almost as much with job as a tour guide as he does as a teacher.

That tidbit of information was enough to get the wheels a'turnin'.

Walt is a natural born story teller, and having been on several tours of Savannah (ghost and otherwise) in the past we decided he would make a great tour guide. Given the various renditions of the stories we've heard over the years, we came to the conclusion that a lot of the stuff is made improvised. Mr. Taylor would be great at that!

Meanwhile, Ryan and I would disguise ourselves as specters by wearing floaty white dresses and hanging out around one of the many town squares at night. We figure we could enlist people to take Walt's undoubtedly unique walking tour at ten or fifteen bucks a piece. That, with additional tips added would surely bring in enough money for us to buy an old "fixer upper" which we could restore and use as a house museum to bring even more additional funds.

Of course, with all these plans we will need other family members to participate so we are inviting them all to join us there. Grand-kids, Esther, Philip, Shaina, Kayla and Jayden would be great at portraying any of the number of "mischievous" child specters reported to be roaming Savannah's historic hotels. For a few months, the new grand-child due to arrive in August could also participate as the baby claimed to be sought after by his mother, "Alice" ... an 1800's servant who was hanged in the square shortly after giving birth. Her ghost is reported to have been seen walking around town searching for the little guy for the last 200 years. We figured my daughter, Angel could also don a white floaty gown and carry the baby around at night telling everyone she is the famous "Alice" and she's finally found him!

With all of us involved, the possibilities would be endless!

At the very least, I believe this idea merits further investigation, oh say .. at least a weekend a month spent in Savannah for the next year, to scope out the town and collect more information. (All tax deductible business trips, of course.)

Yes, I do believe we're on to something here! We are going to be RICH! Filthy RICH, I tell you!

Stay tuned for future updates! ;^)

Oh Boy!

My twenty-two week pregnant daughter, Angel had an ultrasound yesterday. Everything looked great! The baby weighs a little over a pound and was moving so much that the technician had trouble getting some of the measurements.

She did manage to some very important information though...

It's a BOY!

Grand-baby number six, he will even the score so to speak. As of mid to late August, we will have three grand-daughters and three grand-sons.

As was the case with my own pregnancies,seeing the photo's taken of the ultrasound make this grand-child seem more "real" to me. I think this is especially so because I've not seen Angel since Christmas. She was pregnant then, but hadn't told us.

That, combined with everything else that's been going on, has caused me not to think as often about this one.

My apologies to the little guy. He is every bit as precious and as much loved as the first five grand-children. A bit more of a surprise, maybe ... but a pleasant surprise none-the-less.

Suddenly, I am tempted to go to the OshKosh outlet and buy cute little bibbed overalls and tiny sneakers. After hearing of each of the other grand-children's impending arrivals, I ran straight out and bought a baby gift, so I am a few months behind. No problem! It won't take me long to catch up.

This baby doesn't have a name yet. Angel has waited until after her babies were born to name any of them. I'm calling him "Judah" which means "praise" for now. Who knows? Maybe it will stick.

A lot of uncertainty surrounds my new grandson. I'm concerned for him in many ways. I suppose that is the case, to some extent, with all new babies. I'm convinced the more complicated the circumstances surrounding a birth, the more unique and special the child will be.

This baby is special indeed.

So, welcome to our family baby Judah. As unsettled as your world may seem, one thing will never change...Mamaw loves you very much!

Headaches are of the Devil!

It's a beautiful morning in North Georgia; the kind of day that makes a girl want to get outside and kick up her heels in celebration of the sunshine! SPRING has sprung in our neck of the woods for sure!

Too bad I have a horrible allergy headache that's making me want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.

I'm no expert on these things, but I'm pretty sure headaches are of the Devil himself. How else would something that is otherwise non-life threatening cause so much pain and inconvenience? Besides the conflicting desire to get outside and enjoy the nice weather, I also have a ton of work to get done inside. There are phone calls to be returned, paperwork to finish, two articles and a book that need to be written ... and of course I can't forget "Mount Laundry" which I have to conquer before the weekend is through. Nothing on my list can be done in a satisfactory manner as long as my head is pounding away.

Oh, and I can't forget the matter of my foggy brain and puffy, itching, watering eyes. I look like I took the business end of someones fist in my face. Even if I was able to get out of the house, I'd want to wear a veil.

All is not lost! I've managed to get the least taxing of my duties taken care of this morning ... two phone calls and some housework.

I know, I know, I'm not impressed either. I just thought it was worth a shot ...

It's only noon. I've got the whole weekend ahead of me. Good drugs and nice nap may work wonders.

Headaches are of the Devil, but my nice soft bed is absolutely heavenly at times like this. The way I see it (through the aforementioned itchy, watery eyes) I don't have a choice but to get some rest and try again later. Take that, Devil! Good wins over evil every time!

April 9, 2010
Becky Taylor
Bold New Day! LLC
http://www.boldnewday.com

My First Age Spot

The darkened, slightly rough patch of skin cropped up on my right wrist a few months ago. At first glance, I figured it was a previously unnoticed scrape that was in the beginning stages of healing. On further inspection I noticed it was not that at all.

It's apparently an age spot. My first one!

How appropriate that it would arrive a few months before my fiftieth birthday. I am actually a bit ahead of the game in hitting my middle-age milestones as I don't think I'm really quite old enough to develop age spots yet.

Not that anyone would notice. The spot isn't quite as big as a pencil eraser, yet now that I've seen it, it draws my attention like a magnet every time my right arm moves anywhere within my line of vision.

It really isn't that bad. What concerns me is the question, "If I get an age spot at forty nine and a half years of age, what's next?"

I really wish that, in addition to the baby book my mother kept for me, she would have kept a book tracking her own milestones. A diary would have been nice, at the least, especially since my mother also had a teenager (me!) when she was going on fifty.

"Journal Entry, Sept. 3, 1976. Becky Jean started tenth grade today, and I got my first age spot."

How handy that would be! I could read ahead and know what to expect in the months to come.

It's too late for that now and I never would have dreamed I would desire such a resource anyway. As a teenager, I had no intention of ever getting old much less developing wrinkles and age spots!

Maybe this is the way it's suppose to be. Perhaps if I'd known about the age spot ahead of time, I would have stressed over it and expedited the arrival of the already impending "worry lines" on my forehead.

Time goes by, and if we are fortunate enough to survive the process, little inconveniences like age spots and wrinkles are inevitable. They aren't exactly sexy but I feel I've earned every one of them and I will consider them medals of honor to be worn proudly.

As I like to say, "It is what it is!" ... and this thing on my wrist definitely is my first doggone age spot!

March 25, 2010
Becky Taylor
Personal Development Coach for Women
Bold New Day! LLC
http://www.boldnewday.com

I Haven't Slept In Thirty-Two Years

March 23, 2010

I’ve been feeling exhausted for a while now and I think I understand why. Given the fact I gave birth to my oldest daughter when I was seventeen years old and have been raising kids ever since, perhaps I shouldn’t be so taken by surprise.

My firstborn will turn thirty-two years old next month, and I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve slept all night uninterrupted since I brought her home from the hospital.

Call me weird, but I actually like to sleep. Hence, I take issue with being plum tuckered out most of the time. One of the top items on my bucket list is to at some point of my life be able to go to sleep when I want and not wake up until I’m good and ready! As an almost fifty year old grandmother of five (soon to be six), is that really too much to ask?

Of course, it’s mostly my own fault. I likely sabotaged my aspiration of ever sleeping again by having my third child at the age of thirty-four. Not just any child mind you but I brought “the boy”, aka Adam David, into the world. By the time he was born, his next youngest sibling (who incidentally never closed her eyes from birth to about three years of age) was thirteen years old.

What in the world was I thinking? I was within a few years of being able to sleep at night for the first time since I was seventeen, and then I decided another baby would be a grand idea! By that time I felt like my life was fairly settled. I had a good job and was actually old enough (in retrospect, borderline too old) to have a child. Never the less, I believed it would be fun to experience raising a child as a mature adult, as opposed to having my other two babies when I was barely more than a baby myself.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Adam never slept. I remember carrying my wide eyed bundle of joy into the pediatrician’s office when he was about six months old and pleading for help. Adam was a breast fed baby who at that age insisted on nursing about every forty- five minutes all night long. I’d also gone back to work by then, and had to get up at 4:30 a.m. in order to be at my job by 6:30. The doctor listened sympathetically, and reassured me that the sleepless stage would pass.

When I refused to leave his office until he gave me a more encouraging, realistic answer, he finally suggested I slip the boy a little Benadryl just before bedtime for a few nights in a row in order to get him into the” habit” of sleeping.

With a new found sense of hope, I drove right to the store and picked up a bottle of what I believed would be the answer to my prayers.

It did help … a little, but my dream of being able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time was still not to be realized.

As far as I can tell, Adam still never sleeps (at least not at night) “The boy” is actually now a delightful fifteen year old young man (mind you, I’m probably using “delightful” to describe him, out of sleep deprivation- induced delirium.) He is a night owl, preferring to stay up most of the night and sleep during the daylight hours instead. Of course, this causes a certain problem where little things like, oh say SCHOOL is concerned.

And Benadryl no longer works.

I’d take the Benadryl myself if I weren’t hesitant to fall into a sound sleep for fear Adam would take advantage of my unconscious state and do something I’d regret. As it is, he keeps me on my toes when I am awake. I shudder to imagine what might happen if he thought I might actually sleep through one of his random impulsive acts of mischief.

Should I abandon all hope? Perhaps I would make it easier for myself if I just gave up the nonsensical notion of ever sleeping well in this lifetime.

Maybe.

At this stage of the game, I can only pray that when I get to Heaven, Saint Peter greets me with a pillow and a blanket and directs me straight to a big comfortable bed in a quiet corner, with instructions to simply sleep for a few thousand years. I believe that would be an apt reward for my years spent forfeiting sleep for the sake of raising my children (especially the boy) here on earth.

Becky Taylor

Bold New Day! Personal Development Coaching for Women

http://www.boldnewday.com