Nailing Jello ....

The Fox 5 Atlanta show had an interesting author on this morning. I didn't catch all of the interview, because as usual I was doing other things while "watching" the show.

Anyway, this woman has written a book about raising teenagers. I couldn't help but LOVE the title ... It's called "The Agony and the Agony"

Isn't that great?

From what I could tell, this woman actually knew what she was talking about as she described the perils of parenting teenagers. Let's just say I too, felt her pain.

Best of all, listening to her made me feel better about my own parenting skills, not to mention the teenager I am attempting to parent at the moment. Not that I haven't already realized it a million times over, but I've really been blessed as far as the boy and all his teenage antics go.

Adam is a good, no ... let me make that a GREAT kid.

A GREAT kid who knows exactly how to get on my last nerve and jump up and down until I crack. Argggghhhh! He can argue with the best of 'em, I tell you! He was surely born to be an attorney. Sometimes it seems there's no winning with him at all.

Just last night, he was taking out the trash when he paused to ask, "And just WHY do I have to do this?" (He's been doing it every week since he was ten, geesh and NOW, he asks?)

I explained that he does it because it's one of his chores. To which he, responded ... "And WHY do I have chores?"

One of these days I will learn to keep my mouth shut (maybe), but that day has yet to arrive, so I went on in a feeble attempt to explain that he is learning responsibility by doing chores and carrying his weight around the house.

When I saw that my explanation wasn't going anywhere, I added "It also contributes to your earnings every week?"

"What earnings? When do I get earnings? Where is my money?"

That one had me scratching my head in disbelief. I should have given up and sent him straight to his room (after he got finished taking out the trash, of course) but I didn't. My mouth was already in full gear (gee, wonder where the boy gets it, huh? you might be asking)

"Well, actually you've been spending your earnings every weekend for the last couple months. You go to the movies every Friday night, for example, and then there are the shopping trips you've just HAD to go on, and the money you borrowed from your father and have to pay back ..."

Then do you know what the boy said to me?????

He looked me straight in the eye and said, "Well then, I need a raise because I didn't have enough money at the movies last week, remember?" (I didn't have quite as much cash to hand him as I normally do, so technically I "owed" him seven dollars ... poor kid probably had to "rough it" and skip the sour skiddles at the concession stand, thanks to my oversight)

As a very wise man (or woman) once said, "Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree." Maybe it was the same wise woman who was interviewed on Fox 5 Atlanta this morning, I don't know.

What I do know is this, as far as being the mother of a teenage son goes, I've really got it pretty easy. Sometimes I worry about Adam because he spends too much time in his room. On the other hand, I can honestly say that in fourteen years there has never been a time when I didn't know exactly where he was.

I catch myself feeling concerned because he is, (in my opinion) overly sensitive about his girlfriend's feelings and is constantly trying to "help" her with issues in her life. But I realize he has a very strong mercy gift, a real sentimental heart with great compassion for people .. and that is a gift.

So what if at age fourteen his "gift" isn't exactly honed to perfection yet!

One of the greatest blessings came the other night when I called up the stairs to him for something ... probably to tell him to get off the phone and go to bed. He snapped at me, "MOM! WAIT!"

I responded by snapping back and correcting him for speaking harshly to me.

He opened his door and stepped out to the top of the stairs and apologized, then went on to say that I had interrupted him while he was praying.

Praying!

I get aggravated at my son for things like back talking, questioning my authority, arguing, and even snapping at me because I've interrupted his conversation with God! It irks me to no end that my son insists on wearing eyeliner (yes, eyeliner .. because the girls all think it makes his eyes look amazing... and I have to admit they are right) It gets on my nerves that he listens to heavy metal music (Christian lyrics but heavy metal none-the-less, and I can't stand the sound of it!)

His lack of enthusiasm towards his school work makes me want to tear my hair out at times. "But MOM! I don't need to understand Algebra! I'm never going to use it again after I get out of school.

He can't seem to grasp the idea that unless he passes Algebra he won't be getting out of school at all!

God help me!

As frustrating as it gets at times, I know there are a million mothers out there who would give anything to have a kid like mine.

Mothers who don't know where their fourteen year old sons are at night. Mothers who've had to bail their kids out of jail. Mothers who suffer the ultimate loss when their child dies of an overdose, or drunken driving.

I feel absolutely ashamed of myself when I think about it.

Adam will be fine, even better than fine. My son is going to be amazing!

He's a teenager, for sure. He's dealing with becoming an adult, finding his own way in the world, evolving into the person God has called him to be.

The beauty of it is, I know that Adam's personality traits (even the ones that drive me batty) were given to him by God and God knows they will somehow work out to his benefit someday. That is what I have to step back and remind myself of when I catch myself wanting to ground the boy until he's thirty seven years old.

God has great plans for my "imperfect" son, and they are GOOD! That goes a long way towards helping me keep my sanity on those days when I think I'd rather be nailing jello to a tree.