Good Bye!

(This is one I actually wrote about a month ago and posted to my MySpace site. I thought I'd drag it over here since I'm not feeling all that creative today. ;0) )

We are going white water rafting this weekend.

"Are you excited?" You might be asking.

"Excited" isn't exactly the word I would use to describe my feelings.

Frankly, I am TERRIFIED!

I'm no wimp. I like a little adventure in my life. I love being way up high ...on mountain tops, in airplanes, or parasailing for example.

I love horseback riding and I would go zip-lining 70 feet above the rain forest floor again in a heartbeat if given the chance. What a blast that was!!

Ironically enough, I particularly enjoy being out on the ocean (as long as it is on a yacht or bigger vessel)

That's where I draw the line. Notice, I mentioned I actually enjoy heights. That's likely due to the fact that the higher up I am ... I am also that much farther above any potentially deep or disturbing water.

Like white water, for example.

I do know how to swim. As a matter of fact, I once swam in an underground lake in a cave in Mexico, (an experience a lot of people found pretty frightening) and thought it was wonderful. At any rate, an "average" nice, calm body of water poses no threat to me.

It's being in water, but not being in control that scares me. I'd go so far as to admit I am borderline phobic about it. Furthermore, in no way do I feel compelled to practice any desensitization techniques for my "borderline phobia" at the present time.

I've got no one to blame but myself for this mess. I made a deal with the devil ... errr ... my husband. I told him I'd go white water rafting in exchange for a Siamese cat I wanted really badly. Knowing how absolutely terrified I am of the whole rafting concept, he told me if I wanted the cat that much, I could have it and I DIDN'T have to go white water rafting in order to get it.

What a sweetie I married!

I breathed a giant sigh of relief and thanked him profusely.

I should have gotten our little agreement in writing because only a couple weeks later, (and before said Siamese cat had even arrived) that sweet husband of mine went back on his word and called in my promise to white water raft with him. I reminded him that he told me I didn't have to do it, to which he responded he had simply changed his mind.

(Isn't changing one's mind the WOMAN'S perogative??)

So be it. I am a woman of my word. We are going whitewater rafting in Tennessee this Saturday.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about it, but it's a little difficult for me. The thought of getting thrown out of the raft and pounded repeatedly on the rocks by raging water as I die a slow painful death by drowning, keeps invading my "happy place".

Walt swears I am going to enjoy it. That may be true, given the fact that merely surviving the trip down the river will qualify it as an "enjoyable" experience for me.

You think I'm kidding???

I'm not.

So, just in case ... I want to say it's been nice knowing you all. I believe I've already informed my children of my last wishes, so y'all know what to do. There is one thing I want to add, however ...

In the event that Walt survives and I do not (I have every intention of taking him down with me if I go) I would ask that in lieu of flowers, each and every one of my friends and family members send him a Siamese cat in my honor.


Thank you, and hope to see you on the other side!!!