I Love My Son

I love my son.

I love my son.

Really. I do love my son.

Some days, it's the sole reason I let him live.

Adam David, or "the boy" as we fondly refer to him, was born fifteen and half years ago. He was very much wanted and a welcomed ray of sunshine during what was then a rather dark time of my life.

My! How things change!

Don't get me wrong. As I clearly stated, I love my son tremendously. It's just that he seems to like nothing more than to find my last nerve and jump on it. If it's not one thing, it's another. Every day's a new day and another "adventure".

Maybe I'm just not as "adventurous" as I use to be. Maybe I'm just getting weary in my old age and not as tolerant as I once was.

Or maybe I'm right when I say the boy goes out of his way to try to push me over the edge.

Adam has a new girlfriend. That right there is enough cause for alarm, in my opinion. I've never met the girl, but he says she's really nice. She use to go to his school. She's blond ... and oh! Her name is "Becky". (That's somehow meant to make me feel better)

She's also older than him and has a car.

(Breathe Mama! Breathe!)

Last night the boy announced his weekend plans to me. Yes, I said he "announced" (not "asked") He said Becky would be driving him home from school today, where they would hang out and watch a movie together. Then, tomorrow they were planning to go to a concert in a town a good thirty miles from here, after which he would spend the night with his friend, Zach. (Not the "Zach" who lives near us, this is another "Zach" whom I've never actually met.)

Uh-huh.

I ran to the mirror to see if someone had scrawled "STUPID" across my forehead without my knowledge, because clearly my son was under the impression I'd approve of his weekend plans without an inkling of apprehension.

"ButMom, youdontunderstand, thismeansalottome. Justtrustme. PLEASE?!"

I trust Adam (sort of) ... at least as much as a mother could trust a fifteen and a half year old boy who is now "dating" a girl I've never met who happens to drive. I do, however, have some problem trusting this older girl I've never met, who will "date" a fifteen and a half year old boy. I also have trouble trusting these friends I've never met who live in this far away town.

I can't help but think that sweet smelling bundle of joy that was handed to me on July 17,1994 should have come with a warning label.

I tossed and turned last night, in anticipation of the argument that would surely ensue this morning when I reminded the boy that, while I would allow his new girlfriend to come to the house and watch a movie with him after school, I would not allow him to carry out any of his other plans this weekend.

No concert. No staying all night at the home of a friend I've never met.

But my worries were all in vain. As soon as Adam came bounding down the stairs this morning he announced that he'd made new plans. Plans he was sure I'd like better.

Becky is still picking him up after school today. They are still going to stop and rent a movie.

And then, they are going to her house to watch it.

But it's ok! Her parents (whom I've also never met) are going to be home.

"C'monMom,Justtrustme, Pleeeeeease?!"

It was back to the mirror again for me. Sure enough, my forehead remains clean and free of any labels that would indicate a lack of motherly wisdom.

To Adam's dismay we are back to the original plans. This girl I've never met, named Becky, will bring Adam home from school and they will watch a movie here within the confines of our own four walls ... quite possibly with me sitting between them on the sofa.

It's the least I can do.

Because I love my son.



Becky Taylor
http://www.boldnewday.com

I Miss My Little Boy

My "baby" Adam turned fifteen years old yesterday. It's so hard to believe he's in his mid-teens already. This birthday was one of only a couple we've spent apart. He's visiting his Dad in Ohio for a couple weeks, so there was no real celebration here at home for him. Just a simple phone call to tell him Happy Birthday!

I miss him.

Not because he happens to be more than five-hundred miles away, but because over the last six months or so, he's become a person I barely recognize.

I want the "old" Adam back.

I don't have a problem with my baby growing up. It would be unhealthy for both of us if I expected to keep him a little boy forever.

What I'm having a problem with is his behavior. His poor choices. His sudden desire to go against everything we've tried to teach him over the last fifteen years. This time last year he declared to us he wanted to be a minister. Now, he's acting as anything but!

Adam has AD/HD and OCD. I know that plays a role in his behavior, but it doesn't give him an excuse to act the way he's been acting.

This is hard. I just want my son back. The one I had before everything started falling apart. The sweet Adam. The one who was so tender hearted and compassionate. The boy who treasured his relationship with God and family above all else.

I know this will pass. In the meantime, I pray God will protect him and bring him back safely. I dedicated Adam to the Lord immediately upon learning I was pregnant. I did it again, formally, at the church when he was a few weeks old. It wasn't something I took lightly.

For that reason, I have to trust that he is God's child, and God will take care of him accordingly.

And because I too, am God's child, I'm trusting that He will take care of me as well.

He will bring me through this ordeal. I will be o.k.

But tonight, I sure do miss my "little boy".